Alone Still I will follow

I've again gathered with the members of my family to celebrate Christmas. *however we're dwindling in numbers* As there are likely many of you who have had to endure this holiday season with people you loved and admired having passed away during this past year.And that is sad. Most folks are in tune to the depth of despair you must endure to have be dealing with a major holiday and death plans at the same time. I am sure that there is a loneliness in that.But when I walked into the Pre Christmas Service last Sunday I was overwhelmed by the beauty of His presence. The sacred time of offering up worship that would bring Him great joy. As He sees His chosen gathering to worship and remember what he has done for us.

Yet my dear husband was outside of the sanctuary preparing some of the food for celebration feast we were to enjoy after the church service. My precious Granddaughter was up way too late the evening before and was in a mood that was like lying on the pew not showing the least interest in the time of worship. So I walked her out to sit with her Grandfather in the other room.

As I walked back to my seat I heard the sounds of some of the most meaningful Christmas hymns to me. And I looked around and saw families who were really into worshiping our risen Lord in Spirit and in Truth. And I sat alone. I thought of the folks I know who have gathered together for generations to worship the Lord together. Especially at Christmas time.

But I wasn't raised in one of those homes. My folks were wonderful in the non Christian since.. they loved me and they were very active in their businesses and organizations that they felt strongly about. My Mother was even the very first director of Planned Parenthood here in my home town. They weren't church goers unless you can count the boater folks they ran with having

drinks on Sat evening out on the Ohio river and choose to meet up again the next day at the Unitarian Church to drink coffee.. sober up some and discuss issues of the day... if you call this church.. my parents really considered it a group of like minded folks who wanted to help others.

So when I was finally saved at the age of 21 I found myself all alone walking with and worshiping my precious Jesus. To my family I was becoming "one of those Jesus Freaks "So.. though none go with me still I will follow::

So my early years in the church were surely all alone. Yes I was happy to take our two sons who were 14 months apart in age.

And initially my sons were in great Sunday School programs and excelled. I was under the impression after serveral years that they had both given their hearts to God. There was fruit and much very fruitful conversation going on in our home.

My husband was not interested in going at that time. He was a pot smoker.. and felt that he'd need to give that up to come to Jesus.. so he was in no hurry. I knew I couldn't get him into the kingdom by nagging.. but only by praying and obeying the Lord.. that tells us that our husbands can be won without the Word in 1 Peter 3 By the behavior of their wives!

Sadly to say .. once these young men grew up they did not make choices to remain in any church. Our youngest did try to come back soon before his marriage and his new wife is from a non active catholic upbringing and seems to think she has no need spiritually speaking. And I think our son believes that maybe he doesn't have a need either.

Our oldest son who was just married a year and a half ago. Has told me recently that he is an Atheist. This was a super difficult thing to hear. Because I knew that when he was young he knew! And I know that now he is older he still knows... yet he has made choices that cause him to deny the existence of our Creator.

So again. though none go with me still I will follow.. still none go with me still I will follow.

I need you committed believing knee benders on twitter. Because when I feel that I've some how been called alone on this path towards the throne of God, I will ask your encouragement.

Just saying again.. that especially at this most holy time of year it is rather sad to be following all alone. And loneliness has several different reasons , yet I honestly feel that except type of grief getting through losing someone to death, the next most difficult grief is when one is walking spiritually alone because the ones they love choose not to follow

So I grew up with a family who did not know or glorify the Lord Jesus. Then I found Him when I was a brand new mother and wife. Yet my husband did not want me "preaching" at him.

My sons ultimately have grown up and by their lifestyles they aren't seeing any need for God in their lives.

There have been other times.. serious times of being in organizations that were put in place as Christian organizations but have moved away from the actual things that made them separate in the first place. And often even among believers I've had to take an unpopular stand.

Allowing the one I follow when no one goes with me to hold my hand. O Praise Him The lifter of my head.